Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Does God's Feelings Get Hurt?

I have been wrestling for some time now with the notion/idea/discipline of "Trusting God." I find myself wondering whether or not we "hurt" God when we don't trust Him. More than that, I wonder How He feels when we still have moments of doubt after allllll that He has done for us, after all of the ways He has shown that He is in control.

I think about the disciples and the people of old who continuously asked Jesus for a sign after He performed countless miracles and healing right before their eyes.

I think about my five year old daughter who asks me everyday if I am going to pick her up from school despite the fact that I have done it the day before and the day before that. Now, I do not have the promise keeping capability of our savior, but I am still perplexed when she questions me in an area which I feel I have proven myself in already.

Oh, and then I think about me.......human, fallible, at times untrusting...me. Recently I have gone through some of what I consider to be the most troublesome times of my life to date. I am almost ashamed to admit that I too in a way have questioned God with, "are you picking me up today?"

I question whether or not He is aware of what I'm going through and if He is going to do anything about it. Then I realize how He must feel toward my unbelief and doubt. He has walked with me for almost 30 years now. He has kissed all of the boo-boos and made "it" better. I only have to look over my childhood and teenage years to see His faithfulness and provision at work in my life. And even as an adult He has been patient with me, loving me like no other.

I realize now, that in those times of trouble, He is a very present help. The hardships are all designed to draw me closer to Him and strengthen my faith. After all, He has promised me some things:

-He will perfect those thing which concern me
-He will complete the work he began in me
-He lets me cast my cares upon him
-He will not withhold any good thing from me
-He will never leave me or forsake me

What a God!

May I always remember that I have a relationship with the God who created this enormous universe, and He sees me right where I am. If He came through for me before, He will do it again and again and again. I just have to know that even when I can't feel Him, He's there.

Lord I believe, but help my unbelief.