Checking in……Again :-)

Soooooo, lately I've been thinking about predictability vs. unpredictability. The conclusion that I have come to is….just when I think I've got it figured out, I realize I actually have no clue, lol! Ahhh, I hate going through the same stuff over and over again. Makes me feel like I'm missing a very important lesson, and that's a bit frustrating. But even with that, I have still been able to recognize how blessed I am. The past couple of weeks have been rough, to say the least. I thought I was on one trajectory, and was happy with that, BUT as life often does….it happened. At this particular moment things aren't so clear, well as I'd like them to be anyway. However, as I have stated before, "I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds my tomorrow." With that said, I continue to (try) and put my faith in God, I have seen Him come through for me time and time again. So I will wait patiently on the Lord, (ironically sometimes I think He is waiting on me;-)

Peace & Blessings,
~E. RaMona

How Do You Eat An Elephant?

I want to be a good person. A good mom. A good daughter. A good sister. A good employee and a good friend. I really do! However, sometimes there are some perceivable, "giant-like" obstacles which stand before me. I imagine and think about all of the things that I want to do and accomplish, and soon after, past mistakes come to mind, which make me feel that all of my dreams and desires are somewhat out of my reach. Despite that occasional dismal thought, I am constantly reminded of who holds my future. I know that God has plans for me, I do, but when I look a certain areas of my life, and what a mess I have made out of them, I feel so small. They seem huge and insurmountable. In those moments I am reminded of, the riddle, "how do you eat an elephant?" The answer is one bite at a time. 

Soooooo, it is my goal to attack these areas of my life, "one bite at a time," while keeping in mind that, "he who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." I know God created me for a purpose and to affect many lives. I want to do just that with as little distraction as possible.

Forgetting those things which are behind.....

~E. RaMona

What Do You Believe God For???

so, it's almost 8am on a Sunday morning and I should be getting ready for church, (i will). the girls aren't up yet and my mind is just brimming with ideas for this script that i am writing. as i sit here and write though, i realize that this vision that i have is pretty big or grand, dare i say. ironically though, it doesn't scare me, it actually encourages me. the bigger this vision becomes the more i realize my total need to rely upon God and his favor.

there are some things in life which we can look back on and say, "i did that," but then there are those things that we KNOW didn't come to fruition because of how smart we are or how savvy and well connected we've become. there are those that that we looked at and said, "Lord if you don't do it, it won't get done." that's not to say that WE sit back, twiddle our thumbs and expect a miracle. it just means that we do our part, we continue to work, but we know that God plays a major role in the "thing" happening.  Faith without works is truly a dead faith.

i believe God for the impossible, because i know that with Him, all things are possible. i believe that He has a way of orchestrating things in such a way that when they do happen, you look at it and, "now i KNOW that was God."

this morning i am so grateful for the gifts and talents that He has given me and the undying creativity, passion, and pull that He has placed in my heart. even though i can't see the end, He has give me a glimpse of what is possible and i BELIEVE that it will come to pass!

happy Sunday everybody!

~E. RaMona

Today...

Today, I am reminded of just how blessed I truly am. This day did not start off as one that I felt supremely excited about. For starters......

I didn't get enough sleep

I woke up with a headache

I was running late

All three of my children are sick (two cases of strep throat and one cold)

I was late to work

It has been raining all day

My attitude has not been too cheery

The work day has dragged by sooooo slowly....but then.....

I had to sit back and just think....

I thought about the fact that .....

I have a bed to sleep in

I have a home with running water, food, clothing...all of my essential needs

I have a job

I have a car to transport me to work

I have eyes and ears to actually see and hear the rain

In the grand scheme of things, all of my children are healthy

I am sane and I have my wits about me

Sometimes I can really get down on myself and want to throw a pity party where I am the only one who shows up. You see, I am not yet where I want to be in life, but then again who is? I need to remember to be grateful for all of the things that I do have, and keep in mind, (and in prayer) those who are less fortunate than myself and encountering tremendous loss in their lives. #40 on  Regina Brett's 50 Life Lessons is "If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back." Put's things into perspective, huh? Well, it does for me.

So, I have joy, even though I don't always feel happy, and I'll get to where I'm going, as long as I keep moving. I love my children and my family. God willing, tomorrow is another chance to "get it right."

I have missed you guys. All of you, in your own unique ways have encouraged me when you didn't even know it.

Happy Hump day Friends!

~E. RaMona

What May Come...

I really am excited about this coming year will bring. I have created a new blog simply for the purpose of documenting this incoming year and all of the promises/resolutions that I have made for myself. I say "excited" simply because I believe that the end result will lead to a better, healthier, and more responsible me. But make no mistakes, I have a lot of growing to do. A lot of which I imagine will be painful and crucifying to my flesh. But I know that I can do it, I HAVE to do it. My happiness, sanity and the future of my girls depends upon me stepping up. I need to change. Period. So with plan and new blog in toe, here I go......

My new blog is private because I don't want to divulge what I am in the midst of just yet, but maybe i'll make it available at some point....or maybe i'll keep it just for me, who knows? Till next time, happy blogging!

~E. RaMona

Count Down...

Soooo, my 29th birthday is just ten days away, and as usual, I have nothing planned. I really wanted this year to be special, simply because this year will mark my last year I'm in my twenties. After this year I will no longer be able to say,

"Who me? I'm twenty-something."

I've learned a lot, and I have grown a lot. I have had trials, upsets, let downs, victories, break throughs, and celebrations, and in the famous words of Miss Celie, "Dear God, I'm here." Let's see, during this decade, I have gotten married, had two beautiful children, bought my first home, earned my degree, lost my grandfather, reconnected with/discovered my birth father, got my driver's license, (didn't get it until I was 21), had three cars, and I'm sure there were a lot of other significant things that I cannot think of at this moment. This brings me to my point, I really want to do something special to commemorate this last year in my formative years. Not that I do not plan to continue my evolution into becoming me, but you know...anyway, if anyone has any ideas on how I should celebrate this year, please let me know. The big day is Oct. 31st......yes Halloween......yes I have heard every joke under the sun. So let me know whatcha think.

The Wait

Well, I've not had a hair cut for some time now, but of course I think my hair should be growing faster. People always say then when one gets their hair cut regularly for a long period of time, then stops, their hair has "wild growth." I don't think that's true in my case. However, I am trying not to focus on it everyday. I have plenty of other things going on in my life to keep me busy right now. I'm trying very hard not to become overwhelmed by everything that so desperately demands my time, and realize that no one ever died because an e-mail wasn't sent....at least I don't think they did. I have a really interesting schedule these days, a lot of ripping and running, but I am trying to keep in mind the things that are important. I don't want to miss any integral moments of my daughter's lives. So while my schedule is a little hectic right now, I know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I have to remember to keep him first and above all of these "things." Life will become a little easier toward the end of December, I just pray that I make it there in a graceful fashion with all of my important relationships intact.

-Alaiyo ♥

-Alaiyo ♥

My Decision

All Good Things Must Come To an End

Well, I have been wearing my hair natural since 1998. In those 10 years I had about three relapses, ( I relaxed my hair). For the most part I have worn my hair ultra short. I have however experienced life with an afro, (TWA), twisties, braids, puffs, and I even started locking my hair for about five months between 2005 and 2006. I have to say however, the hair style that I have loved the most has been wearing my hair really short. I can’t explain how I would feel when I would leave the barber shop with a “fresh cut.” It was easy and convenient. I liked my face the most when my hair was short, and I received the most compliments wearing my hair this way and I loved it.

My last stint with short hair began, in March of 2007. I cut off all of my hair because it was breaking off from the combination of a relaxer, color, and wearing half wigs. Once again I was thrilled to wear my hair this way (short). This is the longest that I have gone with one hairstyle. No more than three weeks would pass without my getting my hair cut. I had a barber who knew how to cut my hair just right in light of the slight traction alopecia that I have around my edges, (years of wearing micro-braids too tight. Anyone know what I can do about this?). I knew that after I was done with this style however, I would start my journey to locking my hair, (for real this time), which brings me up to date.

I have decided to get Sisterlocks once my hair is long enough. I am hoping that will be the beginning of 2009. I’m hoping to lock sometime between January 3^rd and January 10^th. We’ll see if I have enough length by then. It will also be kind of like a

New Year’s resolution too. I haven’t had a haircut since the middle of July so I’m hoping it will be long enough to lock in January.

What now? Well I have started a savings. I am going to direct deposit money from my paycheck to a savings account called my “Sisterlock Fund.” From the research I have been doing, I’m seeing that they are pretty expensive to start. This way I won’t feel the financial blow all at once, plus it will keep me motivated as I wait for my hair to grow, and as we all know, that can be like watching paint dry, or water boil.

In the mean time, I will focus my energies on clearing up my skin. For about a year and a half now, I have had major problems with my skin. I have started a new regiment, plan to drink more water, eat better, and take my Hair, Skin, and Nails vitamins. There are a host of other things to keep me busy, but I am really excited to begin this journey. It has been really liberating to make this decision to lock my hair, (even though I haven’t started yet), and it is extremely encouraging to see those who have started their journeys and are well on their way. I will miss my ultra short hair; after all it has been very good to me. I’ll keep everyone updated. It’s going to be a long journey, but definitely worth the trip. I can’t wait!........well I guess I have to;-)

-Alaiyo ♥